Hate List--Jennifer Brown (book review)

Hate List is a young adult book about the aftermath of a school shooting, told from the point of view of Valerie, whose boyfriend, Nick, was the shooter. The story begins months after the shooting, when Valerie feels recovered enough physically (she was shot in the leg trying to stop Nick from killing a girl she despised) and emotionally to return to school to complete her senior year.

The chronology of the book is mixed up a bit, so readers see parts of the shooting and Valerie and Nick's relationship beforehand, though most of the story focuses on Valerie's recovery and her classmates' and family's reaction to the tragedy. The result beckons readers to understand how someone could naively participate in the events leading to tragedy, without realizing the outcome that seems so obvious after the fact. It's a powerful read that has much to say about the potential we have to impact other people's lives in both positive and negative ways.

The soundtrack: Here's a full playlist, courtesy of author Jennifer Brown. Brown says that Nickelback's If Everyone Cared was the inspiration for the book.

Want to win this book and other goodies? There's a contest for you on Jennifer Brown's blog. Add to her "Love List" (a list of things and people she loves) to help balance out the "Hate List" that Valerie and Nick shared for three years before the shooting, and you could win a bag full of goodies (including a copy of Hate List) or a $20 Barnes & Noble gift certificate.

Just for fun, and in no particular order, here's my love list:
1. the people who brought grapes, apples, and rhubard from their garden on Sunday
2. my homeschooling friends because they have great kids and are fun to hang out with
3. those three guys I live with (they should be first)
4. the big old gray tabby cat I saw yesterday at the animal shelter. I want him.
5. my neighbors when they have their friends over to play bluegrass music together on the porch
6. the dog my son read to me about, who saved kittens from a fire
7. Ben and Jerry, for making Coconut 7-layer bar ice cream
8. my library, for offering $5 gift certificates to Ben and Jerry's for summer reading.
9. Traveling to Teens, for organizing the blog tour for this book and for not yelling at me for posting this two days late.
10. All the people who've let me know they're still reading my blog by leaving comments. Thank you! Who's on your Love List? (Note that to enter the contest, you must post your list on Jennifer's blog)

On Aging Gracefully (plus a giveaway!)

I've never been one to spend a lot of time on my looks. When I first tried make-up as a teenager I felt like I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. (This was in the days of blue eyeshadow...) And I didn't want to waste time trying to make it look right. I just wanted to get up and do the basic shower and deodorant, run a brush through my hair and be on my way. A good haircut, to my mind, is one that looks halfway decent without requiring styling. When my big sister put highlights in her hair I scoffed, "I'll never dye my hair."

Lesson learned: never say never. Also, never scoff at your big sister. She doesn't forget a thing.

Undeniably in my forties now, I've truly never felt better, but my perspective on certain things has changed. I still don't style my hair, but could I maybe stop it from thinning so much? Still don't want to wear make-up, but I now accept the need to moisturize. And if I'm going to moisturize every morning, might it be a good idea to find a product that also evens my skin tone? And, what the heck is my skin tone, anyway? I stopped reading those articles in Teen magazine when I was 15.

And also, fashion. Help! When I was younger I knew what was in, and I either wore it or didn't. Now I know what's in, but if I wear that I'll look ridiculous. How are forty year old women supposed to dress these days? Not like my mom did at forty, that's for sure. (Now a lovely seventy-something, Mom wouldn't be caught dead in those clothes either.) When I shop, I see skinny teen clothes and old-lady-on-a-cruise-ship clothes. I don't see a clothing section that reflects who I am.

Here are two books that offer different perspectives on aging beautifully without resorting to drastic measures like plastic surgery.

Bobbi Brown's Living Beauty adds quotes from and lots of pictures of real-looking women in their forties and up. There's also a chapter on dealing with menopause, and another on late-life pregnancy (not to be an issue chez Worducopia, I trust). The sections on eating right and clothing choices are brief, while more of the 204 pages are allotted to those fun "before and after" makeover pictures and problem-solving tips for things like darkness under the eyes, uneven skin tone, and droopy eyelids.

Charla Krupp's How Not to Look Old deals with similar issues but with a no-nonsense "You don't want to wear that, darling," tone that readers will either find refreshingly honest or mildly judgmental, depending on their own perspective. Krupp has been Beauty Editor for Glamour magazine, and offers specific advice: lists of clothes that look dated and "forbidden fashion items for every woman past the age of thirty;" products for everything from skin care to tooth whiteners; and three levels of interventions for various beauty issues. Both of these books prominently feature women of different shades and ethnic backgrounds but How Not to Look Old gives more specific advice for women of color.

So, what kind of time do you spend on your beauty routine, and has that changed as you've gotten older? Do you care about looking chic or hip? Does your mom/aunt/grandma/daughter?

All comments about this topic (hint: Do you want a free book isn't the topic) will be entered to win one of these books! (if you're interested in one and not the other, let me know). Hachette Book Group is offering three copies of each, to readers --or their moms, wives or grandmas!--with U.S. or Canadian mailing addresses (sorry, no P.O. boxes, please). Winners will be chosen by random drawing on May 4th.

Just Do It--Douglas Brown

Warning: This is a book for adults; I'd give it a respectable R rating. I found it to be tastefully done; others might disagree.

Every published book has its hook: the detail that gets people's attention. It's what makes an agent or publisher think they can find a market; the phrase on the back cover that makes the bookstore browser say, "Hmmm," long enough to take a closer look.

In the case of Just Do It, the hook is this: Doug and Annie Brown, loving parents of two young girls, make a commitment to have intimate relations every day for 100 days. (For the record: It was her idea). An article that mentioned this book made me go "hmmm" long enough to place a hold on my library's copy. I mean: the Browns' kids are seven and three. At that stage of parenting, even 100 days of daily dish washing can be a challenge. One hundred days, no matter what, of daily couple time involving penetration? Enquiring minds want to know how they managed that.

The thing about hooks is, they sell the book, but they aren't necessarily what the book is about. As Brown writes,

It was more than a relationship experiment. It also was a pursuit that could divert us from a day-to-day existence that left us increasingly disoriented and occasionally blue.
"We need to step back," Annie told me. "Take a breather. Stop spinning our wheels so much. For at least one hundred days, starting soon, we'll just live in the present."
"In the now," I said. "I've always wanted to live in the now."

That's what the book is about: finding balance in a very full life. Making priorities amid the stress of juggling family, work, and child-centered activities, in a culture where parents' relationships often take a back seat to all those things.

Doug and Annie initiate various lifestyle changes related, sometimes tangentially, to the 100-day commitment. From bedroom decor, to nutrition, to relaxing with yoga, to learning about Hinduism, their lives are impacted in surprising ways, a ripple effect of the changes in their intimate life.

Their relationship evolves, too. As they prioritize time together alone, Doug and Annie rediscover the joy of certain PG-rated activities which had faded in memory over the course of several major moves and the arrival of their two daughters, such as hiking together without children in tow, or spending an afternoon together at a coffee shop. They become more open with each other (not just in the bedroom), and begin to address decisions that had been stalling the forward-momentum of their lives.

Interested in replicating the Browns' experiment? Don't bother with a book; take the title at its word: just do it. Maybe see your doctor first. But for the rest of the population--those who might rather experiment with eating fudge for 100 days straight, for instance. Or, sawdust.--it's worth a read. Brown's description of his family's journey is a reflection of far more important things--life priorities, enduring love, living "in the now"--than about how often any given couple chooses to do the deed.